Bifrost Apartments, the guy tells you. He overheard you saying you needed a new place. You’ve never heard of it but you turn where he says and walk where he says and there it is. Right by your office.
Odin is landlord, he doesn’t say much but he does have a unit available. You take it without question. He’s obviously ex-military, but you’re afraid to ask exactly in what capacity.
Frigga is your day-to-day anyway, she told you where the closest laundromat was and which grocery store had the best prices. There had been a casserole pan in your fridge when you moved in, and a quilt on the couch.
Thor lives above you, and he terrifies you until he asks if you need help carrying stuff. Thankfully, he’s a harmless dude-bro, and you ask him where he works out, you need a new gym. He is, of course, a trainer and assures you he will help you get those ‘gainz’.
Sif, his cheerful, spry, yoga-instructor wife, whose hair hangs down to her butt even when braided, is also incredibly kind. She invites you to the vegan cafe down the street.
Idunn owns the vegan cafe, her avocado-quinoa muffins are addictive. Her husband, Bragi, is super talented but she had to ban him from open-mic night. He was a total mic hog and sometimes got a little…experimental.
Freyja and Freyr are so gorgeous you blush in their presence. Freyja invites you to the begginers self-defense class she teaches. Once she asks you to watch her cats while she’s away. You think there are 3 or maybe 5? Freyr, it’s rumored, is the best lay in the whole building, and you try not to think about it while he tells you about how his window boxes are doing.
Loki lives in the basement, though he comes and goes at the oddest hours. He seemed to look a little different every time you saw him, what with the piercings, tattoos, and hair color, and you sort of wanted to borrow the bright pink sundress he was fond of wearing. His wife, Sigyn, was so normal by comparison you would have thought she had just been plucked from a field in Nebraska.
You like it here, it’s comfortable and safe. Everyone seems to get along(well, mostly anyway) and before you know it, you’ve been living there a year, then two, then five.
Once you see Thor lift an entire fridge and toss it over his shoulder like it was Styrofoam.
Odin finds you one night, crying in the hallway, and before you know it you’re in his apartment, drinking whiskey that even smells expensive, and he listens to you blubber before finally giving you the best, most important advice of your entire life, though you can’t now entirely remember what it was about.
Freyr insists on giving you some plants, just a few herbs, something to brighten up the space. Despite the fact you’ve killed every houseplant you’ve come in contact with, they thrive.
Loki is always smoking, but you never see him lift a lighter.
After a while, Idunn offers to make you an off-menu smoothie, apple-chia-date. It’s…strangely rejuvenating.
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol
man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this
I don’t play that shit lol sorry
WHyyyy
Sorry everyone
If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only
Shiddd
this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!
It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr
I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES
LMAOOOO
Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~
I reblogged this yesterday but idc, I ain’t playing games with Madame Zeroni or Mama Kitt
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol
man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this
I don’t play that shit lol sorry
WHyyyy
Sorry everyone
If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only
Shiddd
this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!
It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr
I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES
LMAOOOO
Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~
I reblogged this yesterday but idc, I ain’t playing games with Madame Zeroni or Mama Kitt
